Note from Jack: Please do not be scared or alarmed as this is not real!
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One thousand five hundred and seven pupils and 100 teachers at Manchester Grammar School (MGS) have been quarantined due to a rare and deadly disease, Pandemitus. This was caused by an English teacher, Miss Findon, who got too cold in the winter conditions and had all the symptoms of Pandemitus. After just a week of having it, sadly, she died. Greater Manchester police have agreed to release CCTV footage of MGS.
We interviewed Chief Constable Skipalot and his thoughts:
“MGS shall be quarantined until a cure or vaccine has been given to the entire world. We shall not have another ravage outbreak as in 1066 and the 1970s!”
This a rare event and, including now, has only ever happened three times throughout history. The first two outbreaks nearly caused the Earth into extinction leaving it as a lifeless void. In total there have been 14 billion deaths caused over the other two times it nearly ended the world.
It is caused by being too hot or/and cold which then causes the blood cells to explode and in effect causes Pandemitus. We discovered that it has eight major symptoms: tuberculosis, hyperthermia, nausea, stiff joints, kidney failure, fatigue, dementia and sweating blood.
Not only are the number of infected increasing, but also the death list just grows and grows and grows. Even as we speak scientists all over the world are busy finding a vaccine to prevent further infections and a cure to reduce the chances of death caused by Pandemitus.
Food supplies are limited to only ten tons each week. It is lowered by a helicopter hovering above the fields and then wheeled in by the caretaker. In pursue of an interview with the caretaker, I lowered the food supplies too quickly and accidentally whacked the caretaker and killed him. Further inspections showed he was already dying from the disease and so I just put him out of his misery.
For safety reasons, all insects and rodents are being exterminated, boiled water is given out since Pandemitus is waterborne, curfews are being taken and all the dead bodies are burned. The music block has been used for the infected as a ‘Death House’.
All who are infected outside of MGS are recommended to call ‘00813610150’ for advice on what to do. If all else fails, however, it’s best to commit suicide as you will not be able to infect others.
*Jacques Bara is health correspondent for The Blood and can be contacted by email jacques_bara@yahoo.co.uk
